Do you comply with everything all of your child demands? Do you never say no? You think bacche hai, let them do whatever they want. Then you are a permissive parent. Don’t know what that means? Read till the end to know everything about this parenting style. Also learn about what you can do to change it.
Did you know that there are 8 different prominent parenting styles? Out of those eight, three are most common. These three are: Permissive Parenting (also called Indulgent Parenting), Authoritarian Parenting and Authoritative Parenting.
3 Different Parenting Styles
| Permissive Parenting | Authoritarian Parenting | Authoritative Parenting |
| Few rules and expectations from children.Parents rarely have disciplinary regulations.“Bacche hai karne do” approach. | Traditional parenting style“Maine keh diya na bus..” Sets of rules and less parent-child interaction. | Middle road to both extreme styles.There are rules in place but less harsh.Parents guide their children but also let them learn on their own. |
But in today’s article, we’re going to dive deep into the permissive parenting style or also known as indulgent parenting.
Permissive Indulgent Parenting Style
Permissive parenting definition means a combination of low expectations with strong responsiveness. Parents who follow this style are usually very caring, but they don’t set many limits or regulations on their child. These parents don’t expect their children to be mature, and they’re more their best friend than a “parent”.
What we usually see are the so-called “strict parents”. They are the polar opposite of these parents. Permissive parents are exceedingly loose and rarely develop or enforce any form of rules or structure, rather than hanging over their children’s every move. “Bacche hai, karne do” is frequently their credo. They are normally kind and loving, but they don’t try to manage or punish their children. Following are some examples of this indulgent parenting style:
4 Qualities Of Permissive Parenting
1. Being Indulgent
They are one of those parents who can’t seem to say no to their children’s demands. They are prepared to accommodate their children’s demands, even if they are unreasonable and expensive.
2. Leniency
One of the most common permissive parenting examples is that parents are very lenient with their child. They despise having to control their children. As a result, they don’t establish any rules to monitor or regulate children’s behaviour. Even if they do impose a few regulations, they are cautious and ensure that they are clearly explained. Furthermore, they don’t have any punishments if the rules are broken.
3. Child’s Best Friend
There’s a high chance they treat children as an equal and allow them liberty to do whatever they want. Like a good friend, they don’t expect anything of them. No A grades from schools or compulsory participation in activities and stuff.
4. No Rule Land
Jo karna hai karo. They don’t have any rules set in place to ensure discipline. They can eat as many chocolates as they want, and sleep whenever they want. They don’t monitor their screen time, basically they leave them on their own.
3 Pros & 3 Cons Of Permissive Parenting
3 Pros Of This Parenting Style
1.Communication
Permissive parents are more likely to communicate with their children. This is due to the fact that children regard their parents as friends with whom they are comfortable with sharing everything. If their children share their problems, parents can also teach them the difference between right and wrong. Communication is beneficial since it is two-way.
2. Self Esteem
Permissive parents love their children unconditionally, which boosts their self-esteem. However, one must keep in mind that this has a little probability of going wrong.
3. Creativity
Children can try out a variety of hobbies and pastimes when there are less restrictions in place. Children who grow up in a less structured setting find it easier to access their natural creativity.
3 Cons Of This parenting Style
1. Prone To Risky Behaviour
Without sufficient limits, children are left to fend for themselves and may approach certain circumstances without fear or hesitation. This can lead to harmful behaviour such as getting involved with drugs, alcohol, etc.
2. Poor Social Skills
Children with permissive parents have inadequate social skills. These children exhibit a lack of empathy and are unfriendly to other children their age or relatives. They do not, in fact, exhibit any friendly social behaviour.
3. Bad Academic Performance
Permissive parents do not closely monitor their children’s study habits or know how much time they devote to various subjects. As a result, their children tend to have poor academic discipline and concentration. Because the parents don’t ask for a goal or have any expectations of their children, they don’t try to set one. Children are at a time in their lives when they demand the highest level of care, but it is not offered in the right manner.
As you might know by now, this style of parenting isn’t exactly the best way to raise your kids. Even though there are positive effects of permissive parenting, researchers all over the world have found negative impacts on children who have had permissive childhood.
5 Possible Outcomes Of Permissive Parenting
Due to a lack of boundaries and direction, children raised by permissive parents are likely to lack self-discipline, have poor social skills, be self-absorbed and demanding, and feel insecure.
They also show that the kids:
- Have lower achievements.
- Tend to make poor decisions.
- More likely to indulge in drugs and alcohol.
- Don’t manage their time well.
- Lack emotional understanding.
If you check all the boxes you are in need of change. But how?
3 Ways To Change This Style Of Parenting
Building a system and putting rules are regulation in place after a long time of following a permissive parenting style can be difficult. But don’t worry. Follow the tips below for a smooth transition.
1. Setting Rules
Easier said than done. But this is one of the foundation steps. Involve your children in rulemaking. Sit them down and explain to them that things have to change. By involving them, you’ll ensure that they won’t rebel against the change and understand what’s happening.
2. Punishment & Reward
Let your children know that there are consequences to everything. If they break a rule, they’ll have to take some sort of punishment. Please don’t physically or mentally abuse your child. This is just to teach them discipline. If there are punishments there have to be rewards. If they behave well and don’t cause any trouble, reward them equally.
3. Don’t Give Up
This can be the most difficult challenge for permissive parents, but it is critical. Make an effort to be firm and consistent while remaining compassionate and caring. Provide enough explanations to help your children understand why such rules are vital, but make sure that consequences are in place as well.
Parenting comes in different shapes and sizes. But jaise apne dekha, permissive parenting can result in a variety of issues, so if you identify yourself as one of them and your own parenting reflects that, it’s worth consciously trying to use a more authoritative approach. #BeALittleMore gentle with your kids when explaining them the changes. Remember you can still be their friend and parent at the same time. The most important thing to know is when you’re playing which role.
Open up like never before and participate in conversations about beauty, entrepreneurship, mental health, menstrual & sexual health, and more. Desi women, join our community NOW!