Positivity is great and you’ll often find yourself enjoying your time with people who are positive. But let’s admit there is a limit to everything. There are some situations in life where you can’t look with a positive attitude and that’s where the whole “look at the positive side” or “be positive” thing should stop. You don’t have to think about the good side of the situation and be okay with it when you desperately need to cry and let those sad emotions out. Here are 5 signs you must consider if you think you’re being too positive.
5 Toxic Signs That Are Mistaken To Be Positive
1. Being Optimistic All The Time
Emotions aren’t meaningless and we learn some of life’s most important lessons while we are feeling scared, sad or angry. Sure happiness is important but if we just focus on being happy and positive, we might lack the ability to form a perspective on things. And by only looking at the good side of things one might miss out on information that can help us navigate life.
How To Deal With It: If someone you know is forcing you to feel good about something that makes you feel nervous then you can let them know you are okay with feeling like this. The goal is not to feel happy and positive all the time, the goal is to value being happy when you are and not force yourself to look at the bright side when you shouldn’t.
2. Quoting Positive Quotes Where They Aren’t Applicable
Let’s admit that not everything in life can be a cakewalk, sometimes you come across times and situations that aren’t in your favour. Dealing with that requires extreme patience. At those times avoid getting your head wrapped around quotes that make you feel that you are worthless and that these tough times shouldn’t happen to you. Not everyone’s lives revolve around the same principles.
How To Deal With It: If you find yourself looking to relate yourself to these quotes, then catch yourself and stop it. If someone else is doing it for you, tell them everyone’s reality is different. No matter how famous the person who wrote the quote is if you don’t want to live their life. Stop putting yourself in their shoes.
3. Thinking Happiness Is Compulsory
Suppose everyone started looking at the brighter side of things. Then how do you think issues like racism, misogyny and homophobia would have arisen. This is just a broad example of the scenario. If you really want to focus on what’s wrong you have to think about the brighter as well as the darker side. For a narrow example let’s say you are looking to self reflect on a disrespectful argument you had with your mom. Would you think of it and realise ‘at least I took a stand’ or would you rather realise ‘maybe I was right but I should put it in a better manner ’. In the first scenario, you are looking at the bright side, in the second scenario you are looking at both sides.
4. Being Offended By People Who Lack Positivity At Times
Before we dig further into this subpoint, understand that yes you should surround yourself with people who are positive and non-toxic. But as we know that no day is the same and no one can be all smiles all the time. You need to allow people to feel bad, sad, angry or whatever is that they are feeling.
How To Deal With It: There is only one way you can’t get affected by something. Tell yourself you don’t have a say in someone else’s situation and that you can’t get offended by something that isn’t about you.
5. Thinking ‘It Could Be Worse’
This phrase just invalidates one’s feelings in the most obvious way. Yes, things can get worse but that doesn’t mean they aren’t bad now. Whatever the situation, one can feel bad about a situation without being judged for it.
How To Deal With It: Validate your emotions. Accept your reality and tell yourself it’s okay to feel like this. Yes, maybe things could get worse but you still hold the whole right to complain and dwell on what is bad.
The above mentioned are the 5 most common situations that are great examples of toxic positivity. Remember you can only appreciate good things once you realise how bad things can get and realise that you must know how to deal with them. So if possible find healthier ways to deal with these emotions rather than forcing positivity.
