THE CHANNEL 46
The truth is that many of the prospects you end up meeting don’t want to get married now, or even ever. Unfortunately, Indian parents, by hook or crook, make their kids jump headfirst into the process of arranged marriages. Some are just curious and some want to get it over with so that they can go back to their life. Asking this question can surprisingly always get you an honest answer because then the person feels comfortable telling you to decline the proposal so that they don’t have to.
This seemingly harmless query is nothing short of a silent missile. Someone who is unsure about getting into an arranged marriage will be quick to dismiss it as ‘boring’ or something similar. If they have met with 20+ matches and found them all to fall short of their expectations, that’s a red flag. And if you are new to this world, their answer might help you redefine your own expectations.
Wanting to get married and being ready for marriage are two completely different things. It takes a whole new mental approach to share your life, home, bedroom, wardrobe and family with someone new. Also, being married means having to adopt each others’ wishes, routines and interests with enthusiasm. If you are looking for a partner who you will travel the world with, then being with someone who thinks marriage is all about family and kids won’t work out for you.
A question that defines today’s generation and falls under the category of ‘marriageable age’. With women climbing the ladder of success professionally and working hard to make a mark in their career, it has become more important than ever to ask this question. Also, with gender norms becoming a thing of the past, this helps men transform into stay-at-home dads with confidence. It gives you an idea of whether your match plans on relocating, starting a business or joining a family venture.
He could be closest to his mother or siblings, granny or a cousin. By asking this you know who has the most influence on him, who he confides in, and who his lifelines are. These arranged marriage questions will help you determine if you have to tackle a momma’s boy or you have a man here who is attached to his family but at the same time independent enough to make his own decisions.
A partner with a rigid and stubborn approach towards marriage can prove troublesome in the future. Issues, fights, disagreements and the need for adjustment arises in every relationship and marriage is no different. By asking this question, you will have a clear understanding of how your potential partner will deal with this. For you surely need a partner who is open to suggestions and willing to work out the differences, whether it is just communication or couples counselling.
Want to know someone in the quickest way possible? Ask them about what drives them and who inspires them. For instance, someone who is motivated by the passion for their work will see past shortcomings and failures in order to chase success. Similarly, if your match believes that relationships need work, then despite your differences, they will try to keep the bond alive. A person who is sensitive and emotional will need a strong and stable life partner to balance it out.
This question has the potential to make or break your match. The lockdown has shown the world the need to divide household chores responsibly. Many married couples were forced to rethink their house tasks and take up additional responsibilities as well. And with the world-changing every day, it has become vital to ask this question. Gone are the days when the bahu was expected to work and handle everything else. This generation truly believes in equality and that starts right from the home.
Some couples are in no hurry to have a child while some prefer to become parents soon. In some cases, couples opt to adopt or even not to have children at all. All of this needs to be discussed with your potential partner. So go ahead and ask about when do they want kids, how many and most importantly, what kind of a parent they see themselves as. If you want a partner who will divide the responsibilities of children equally
The truth is that many of the prospects you end up meeting don’t want to get married now, or even ever. Unfortunately, Indian parents, by hook or crook, make their kids jump headfirst into the process of arranged marriages. Some are just curious and some want to get it over with so that they can go back to their life. Asking this question can surprisingly always get you an honest answer because then the person feels comfortable telling you to decline the proposal so that they don’t have to.
THE CHANNEL 46