Over the weekend, I saw a much talked about film – Gehraiyaan. Irrespective of whether I liked the film or not, it did get me thinking about how incidents and experiences go a long way in shaping our personalities, particularly where insecurities and reservations are concerned.
As I grew older, each time my teachers would ask me to participate in the inter-house elocution or debate competitions, I’d imagine some middle-aged aunty or some pot-bellied uncle chuckling at me.
No more ladoos for you. Ladoo khaogi, to ladoo ban jaogi, chachi would say jokingly, while everyone around would burst into laughter, and my cousin would squirm in embarrassment.
Will we understand that parenting may be tough and rewarding at the same time, but in dangerous moments, it may also become slightly toxic. Especially when we allow the world and its aunt to constantly dictate and validate norms. When we try to achieve and relive life experiences – through our children. When our smallest of actions leave the deepest of impacts on our children. Toxic parenting, or in general toxic family member-ing may not be about physical hitting or verbally abusing. It may be about making comments, remarks and actions that might seem harmless, but go a long way. Especially about physical looks.