A wedding is a milestone indeed! It spells sweet beginnings for sharing your life with your partner, the start of a wonderful journey ahead. The first night is literally the first time that you will spend in each other’s company as a married couple. Hence, apart from the traditional significance of it being a night of conjugal bliss, this night holds great meaning in your life. “Rukmani, Rukmani, shaadi ke baad kya kya hua, kaun haara kaun jeeta…” Remember this song from the 90s? Although this might have been a fun song, you need to keep in mind that marriage is not about winning or losing. It’s about making those small compromises to make your better half happy, which in turn, contributes to your own happiness.
So, here are 10 first night tips for the bride to #BeALittleMore conscious about how to make the first night after your wedding memorable, cherish the moments, and kickstart your married life on a sweet note.
10 Tips For Brides To Make The First Wedding Night Special
1. Communication Is The Most Important
Irrespective of what traditions might dictate, you needn’t make sex mandatory for yourself right on the first wedding night. Especially if you’re going for an arranged marriage. Otherwise too, it is perfectly fine if you’re not feeling up for it after a long and tiring day of being on your feet, welcoming guests, talking to them, being a part of a host of rituals, and that too in that heavy bridal outfit and jewellery. Phew, no mean feat! Communicate to your partner and speak your heart out to state your needs and wants, and only then can he learn to respect your boundaries. It is important to note that sex isn’t the be-all and end-all on your romantic first night.
2. Take Your Time
…there can be no hard and fast rule that sex is mandatory right on the first night.
As mentioned earlier, there can be no hard and fast rule that sex is mandatory right on the first night. Whether you are getting into an arranged marriage or have been saving yourself for the first wedding night, take your time till you are comfortable with getting intimate with your partner. Take your time to break the ice. Baat karo (communicate, again!) and spend more time with each other to create a comfort zone whether you feel safe to have sex without compulsion. Don’t be the shy bride who doesn’t voice her opinions and concerns. Instead, be the smart, sassy bride who owns her life and her body, and is not ashamed of doing so on her romantic first night.
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3. Get Necessary Medical Tests Done Beforehand
There are a few tests that both of you need to undergo to determine your compatibility as a couple.
Undergoing medical tests before getting married is something that people are not made aware of, but its importance cannot be emphasised enough. There are a few tests that both of you need to undergo to determine your compatibility as a couple. It is essential to opt for an STI/STD test if you have not had sex before with your partner. This will help prevent yourself from getting infected, in case your partner already is. Some other tests like the ovary test and infertility test are also significant to determine your childbearing potential if both of you want to have children in the future. In fact, taking the infertility test is essential for both you and your partner. Further still, you should also undertake a blood group compatibility test and blood disorder test whether you both are compatible to procreate without the scope of your child inheriting genetic disorders.
4. Get Over The Awkwardness
Yet again, communication and taking your time to warm up to your partner and lose your barriers comes to the forefront.
For those entering an arranged alliance, sharing the same room might be pretty uncomfortable for you, even if you have been on a couple of dates before ringing the wedding wells. If yours isn’t an arranged marriage, even then sharing the same space can be a challenge. Because dating is something and sharing your lives within the same space is a completely different ballgame. Yet again, communication and taking your time to warm up to your partner and lose your barriers come to the forefront. Start with benign friends first to build a solid foundation for your marriage, and everything else will fall in place gradually.
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5. Set The Mood
This is something that your relatives have already arranged for you for your romantic first night. Flowers definitely help with building the mood while fairy lights and candles further enhance the ambience of romance. If you are comfortable, start by giving each other massages and, voila, you’ll get into the mood for intimacy in no time!
6. Linger Around In Some Sexy Lingerie
Some lacy lingerie works wonders when you want to initiate intimacy in your relationship, not just on your first night with him.
Some lacy lingerie works wonders when you want to initiate intimacy in your relationship, not just on your first night with him. Usually suggestive red and classy black are the most popular colours. But don’t let popular opinions dictate terms to you and spoil your mood. Experiment with dark hues like burgundy, midnight blue, and browns, or explore pastel colours or natural skin tones – whatever you fancy! Let yourself go wild with your choices and reach for the skies with your vivid imagination! Because your first night should be a wonderful memory to behold throughout your life.
7. Can’t Emphasise Enough On The Power Of Foreplay
Jumping straight to sex is a strict no-no, not just as a part of first night tips, but forever.
Jumping straight to sex is a strict no-no, not just as a part of first night tips, but forever. Make sure to let your man know that, in case he is not aware of it already. Educate him, if need be, because foreplay enhances intimacy between the two of you, gets your juices following, and makes sex a pleasurable experience for both of you. Try out different techniques to arouse each other as that creates a bond with your partner, making sex memorable.
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8. Don’t Skip Contraception
Both of you might forget to use one in the heat of the moment, but that’s no excuse for skipping the use of a condom.
Here’s another thing that is a strict no-no, unless you are family planning right from the get-go! Both of you might forget to use one in the heat of the moment, but that’s no excuse for skipping the use of a condom. Especially because it may invite an unwanted pregnancy. Remember, your man using a condom is not just his responsibility. The onus is on you too. It’s a consensual act that you are indulging in and you are as much in it as your partner. What’s more, a blame game doesn’t take you far. These days, condoms are not just meant for men. There are various companies that manufacture condoms for women as well. Therefore, you can go for both to ensure double protection. No harm in that, right?
9. Create Magic With Lubrication
Lube is the liquid that weaves magic during your intimate moments, making penetration smooth and painless for you.
Lube is the liquid that weaves magic during your intimate moments, making penetration smooth and painless for you. So, keep one handy in your bedside table along with a pack of condoms not just on your first night with him, but especially when you are new to having sex.
10. Be Open To Learning
Be open to learning what works for your partner and likewise, your partner will do the same for you too.
When you do things together, it takes understanding and adjustment for you to be in sync with each other. The same is with sex and intimacy. Don’t expect it to go fuss-free right from the beginning as they show in the movies. Be open to learning what works for your partner and likewise, your partner will do the same for you too. It is a journey where you discover what turns on the other person. Enjoy the journey rather than focusing on the end and wanting to get it over with soon. That way, you will risk disrupting the bond that you seek to share with your partner. Have patience, be spontaneous, stay in the moment and everything will work out just fine for you. And, oh, remember that practice makes perfect!
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The above pointers are just a few first-night tips to get you started on a great relationship with your partner right from your wedding night. Keep them in your mind and follow them closely to enjoy married bliss. And don’t forget to add to these pointers, if you have something more, in the comment section below.
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